What We Didn't Know
by frozentears10
Summary: Bill never expected to see his estranged brother Percy turn into Knockturn Alley. After confronting his brother, Bill learns the horrifying trauma from Percy's past and the tragic secret that caused him to split from his family. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW
1. Chapter 1

A/N – Hey this is my first Percy fic but I've been throwing this around in my head for a while. I'm warning in advance that I am not very accurate with dates and timeline, but please just go with it =).

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling.

Bill Weasley hadn't thought of seeing his younger brother ever again since he stormed out of the family home, breaking his mother's heart. His blood still burned through his veins whenever he saw his mother's eyes tear up or someone pause mid sentence to avoid his name. He had never been particularly close with Percy. Oh sure, he had a few vague memories of a small four year old with red hair, freckles, and glasses, and the biggest smile lighting his face. But those were few and far between and Percy just got colder and more stuck up since then. Too driven by ambition and self righteous pride. That's why when Bill saw a shock of bright red hair slip into Knockturn Alley one Saturday morning, Bill followed, sure it was Ron or one of the twins getting themselves into more trouble.

Bill's tall, muscular build easily kept pace with the lanky redhead, but it wasn't until his troubled brother turned into a dingy, broken down building that Bill saw his face.

"Percy?"

Fortunately, the estranged brother had already slipped past the door that desperately clung on to its rusty hinges, and didn't hear his older brother's shocked exclamation of recognition. Bill crept up to the building's lone window. Despite the dust that matted the once clear glass, Bill could see the scene unfolding inside the building. Percy, having entered into a waiting room of broken glass and dust was soon approached by two larger men. Bill instinctively knew these were not the type of men his proper and reserved little brother should be in the company of, though whether it was the large scars running across one man's face or the manic, contemptuous glint in both of their eyes, Bill couldn't tell you. After a quick, albeit thorough, search of Percy's person, Bill watched in horror as his brother was led through a door in the back of the room. The time passed slowly for the eldest Weasley, as he desperately awaited his brother's return. The realization that the stoic nature with which Percy had endured the search, along with the glint of recognition at the men's approach, indicated that Percy was a frequent visitor to these parts, did little to reassure him. Just when Bill was about to give in to his worry and storm the building, Percy reemerged from the back room, holding a bag. Percy stumbled out of the building and up the street without even noticing his older brother. Bill, curious as to the contents of the bag, watched in disgust as Percy pulled out a tiny, circular object from his pouch…

"A galleon!"

Bill fumed. That dirty little… First he breaks our family's heart under the pretence of the right moral Ministry and now he's diving into the world of illegal crime, selling his soul on the darkest street of Diagon Alley. That greedy traitor!

Bill could barely contain himself, his anger so wrapped itself around him, it blinded him to the deathly pallor that tinted his brother's stumbling frame.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters.

Chapter 2

All day, Bill turned the morning's events over and over in his mind. How far had his brother fallen? Yes, he was a prat growing up and yes, he was a selfish bastard when he left his family, but to turn to the dark? Percy?!?

Bill knew it was time to visit his little brother's flat, maybe knock some sense into the bloody idiot.

Whatever Bill might have expected from the living arrangements of his frigid, Ministry employed brother….this was not it. The dusty streets were littered with bums and rats, both equally at home in the putrid, stale air. Broken glass lay, unminded, in front of rundown buildings. A single mother screamed at two of her children, a newborn resting his head against her shoulder bone, her gaunt eyes belying the exhaustion her screams overcompensated for. This was not the neighborhood Bill imagined his prim and proper little brother to live in. However, this fact easily slipped away from Bill's concern as his anger mounted towards his estranged brother's misdeeds. Before he knew it, Bill found himself in front of Percy's door, the assignment 4B now merely sticky residue left behind when the slaps of metal fell off long ago.

Bill contemplated his entrance. He could angrily bang on the door; this option satisfied his desire to unleash his pent up rage. However, he did not want to give Percy the opportunity to escape or lock the door on him. Even in his anger, Bill could admit that Percy was more advanced magically than he. Instead, Bill opted for surprise. He was startled to find that he did not need his wand for the door was unlocked. His anger faded slightly as worry over Percy's recklessness increased. This feeling of dread only increased upon entering the apartment.

It could have been many things that set Bill over the edge with worry. It could have been the lack of refrigerator or any sign of food in the one room flat. It could have been the ministry files thrown haphazardly over the floor, decorating the overturned chairs and tables.

Or it could have been the sight of his younger brother, sitting alone in a dark apartment, his haunted gaze unfocused at the wall in front of him, the only light reflected from the empty bottles of firewhiskey that littered the floor.

"Percy?" Bill tentatively addressed his unresponsive brother. When Percy remained silent, Bill crept around the sofa, the only piece of furniture that remained upright, to face his brother head on.

"Percy, what is going on? Why are you living like this?" Bill threw a disgusted glance at the grimy apartment. Without looking up, Percy's gravelly voice sought out Bill.

"Why do you care?"

Those few words sent Bill into a spiral of anger.

"Why do I care? Because I'm your brother, damn it! Because our mother is in tears and Ginny avoids your name! Because of you, you ungrateful bastard. Just because you don't appreciate the concept of loyalty doesn't mean nobody else does." At this point, Bill was screaming, his fury unleashed. Yet Percy remained cold and impassive on the worn couch. This lack of response infuriated Bill more than any angry retort would have. He was determined to illicit a reaction from his brother, so he plowed on, heedless of the alarming rate that Percy paled.

"You know I didn't want to believe it when I saw you in Knockturn Alley. I thought you were just a prat, but a criminal? Whatever happened to Perfect Percy?" The childhood taunt shoved Percy from his stupor and he jumped from the couch with such alacrity that Bill stumbled backwards.

"Don't call me that!"

"Why not? Isn't that what you always strove for, why you abandoned your family?" Bill knew he was being cruel, but the memories of his agonized family propelled the words from his lips.

"I didn't abandon our family. Dad didn't listen, wouldn't listen. And you can't tell me you all weren't relieved that I was gone, glad that the annoying outcast was finally gone."

Bill stopped in shock.

"What are you talking about? We loved you!"

"Bullshit!" Percy cut him off in a fury. "I was going to tell him the truth about why I needed the job, why I had to accept. But…but he…Bill he thought I would betray you! He thought I would sell my family for my career. And you all believed him! It's pretty clear what you all felt about me and love is certainly not the word that comes to mind. Do you know what it feels like, to realize how little your family thinks about you? I knew you all didn't like me, between the pranks or the laughs or the cold looks. But to realize you all thought that little of me, that I would betray you, for a job. Do you know how that cuts? Yes, I said some things to Dad in anger that I probably shouldn't have, but I…" Percy let his sentence trail off.

Bill felt some of his anger drain. Hearing his brother's broken voice explain his side, made the estrangement seem a whole lot less like a selfish prat's ambitions and more like a tragic misunderstanding.

"I'm sorry you felt that Perce. But why stay away? And why…wait, what truth? Why did you need this job so badly?" Bill saw his brother's frame stiffen, a shudder passing though. For the first time during the confrontation, Bill truly looked at his brother and was shocked. Though always pale, Percy now had a translucent pallor to him. His bones protruded harshly against his think skin and his eyes were smocked in purple bruises of sleep deprivation. What scared him the most was the increasingly alarming shaking that overtook Percy's whole body.

"Percy, what's wrong? Are you alright?" Percy let a bitter laugh escape his thin, chapped lips.

"No, no I'm not." And with that, Bill watched in horror as his brother's body crumbled to the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks so much for your responses!

Ok, well here's where the story gets a little….not out there per se, but I try to make an illness and I hope it makes sense. Please bare with me and let me know if it's too confusing!! Thanks =)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters.

Chapter 3

Bill swept up his brother's body, appalled by how light he had become. Spurred on by his brother's condition, he quickly apparated to Grimmauld Place. He stumbled into a living room filled with Order members, with Ron, Harry, and the twins playing Exploding Snap in the corner.

"Bill, what's going on?"

"Is everything ok?"

"Who is that?"

"It looks like—"

"Percy, but it—"

"can't be."

"Help! Get Madame Pompfry! Now!" Bill shouted at the shocked occupants of the room. Molly entered, temporarily halting her weekly reorganization of the kitchen.

"What in the world is all this noise about? Percy!" Molly stumbled in shock at the sight of her wayward son. Harry glanced at Ron and the twins in time to see their expressions harden against their brother, knowing how betrayed they had felt by his actions.

"Mom, there's no time, get a Healer."

"Its okay, Mrs. Weasley. I am here. Let us see what the trouble is." The nurse strode into the room, calm despite her quickening pace.

As Bill handed Percy over to the nurse, the rest of the Weasley clan gathered together, anxious to hear the explanation of why the brother that they hadn't heard from for over a year was suddenly unconscious in their living room. Bill's haggard frame made its way over to his family, sinking onto one of the lush armchairs that decorated the Black mansion. As the silence stretched on, all Bill could hear was Pompfry's muttered spells over his little brother's body.

"Bill. Why is Percy here? What happened to him?" For once, Fred had left behind the jokes to voice the question that was on everyone's mind. Though anger still lurked behind the twins' eyes, concern for their brother unconsciously won out.

"I don't know." Bill's defeated tone did little to dissuade his family's incessant questions.

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I mean. It's a long story, one that I still don't know most of. Percy didn't have a chance to explain much before he collapsed. All I can say is that I had seen him go into Knockturn Alley, I followed him, to confront him. But, when I found him…my g-d you should have seen him. There were no lights on in the apartment, he was just sitting there. Broken."

Molly looked up at Bill, "Do you think it was something with work?"

"I don't, I don't think so." Bill could see his family looking at him, worry and confusion on their eyes. They were looking at him to tell them what happened, why, and how to fix it. But he couldn't, so he remained silent.

Thirty minutes later, the tension had reached a boiling point of discomfort, so it was with a sense of relief that Bill watched Madame Pompfry make her way over to the family. However, that relief soon turned to fear when he saw the distraught look in the nurse's eye.

"I am sorry to say that I do not have good news to report. It is rather unclear how exactly Percy became so ill. It appears that a good third of his blood was removed from his body, as though he was donating it or using it for potions. But that is much more than any licensed Healer would ever consider removing!"

_Well that at least solves the mystery of Knockturn Alley…somewhat_. Bill thought, connecting a few of the perilous dots. However, he still had concerns, so he questioned the nurse,

"Is that all that is a matter? I mean, he'll be okay then, right, with some blood-replenishing potions?" At the question, the nurse dropped her gaze, upset that she could not provide the close-knit family with better news.

"Unfortunately, no. Not only was Percy severely malnourished, there appears to be something attacking his internal organs. It's strange, but it appears as though there is a history of this disease, since he was a young child. The scar tissue is abundant and remarkably in depth, clearly spanning many years, untreated…" the nurse trailed off, realizing that her nervous rambling was only increasing the horror and anguish on the Weasleys' faces. "It appears that the most likely explanation would be prolonged, physical contact with Dementors."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed or added my story to their favorites, I really appriciatedit, not to mention was motivated by it!! Sorry it took a while to update, I'm moving to college this weekend for my freshman year!!!! Because of the new transition my next chapters might take a while, especially since I'm not 100% sure where I 'm going with this haha. Well, I hope you like this next chapter!

Chapter 4

The room stood to look at her with shock. It was Arthur who first, hesitatingly, broke the silence.

"Dementors? How….when?"

"I can't determine the exact timeline, but it would appear sometime around four or five years old."

"That would have been the last year of the first war! But, we were in hiding, as a family, how could this have happened?" Molly shrieked, her voice tinged with motherly hysteria. Bill, only half-listening to his mother, noticed movement out of the corner of his eye.

"Why don't we ask Percy what happened himself?" A bitter smile wearily crept onto Percy's face, once the attention was turned back to him.

"Oh, I get a chance to speak now?" A defeated agony laced his words. At once, Ron took offense to Percy's sarcasm, jumping to his feet in anger, before Charlie restrained his hot-headed brother. But it didn't restrain his words.

"What right do you have e to say that? You walked out on us, you prick. Besides, Bill told us about your dealings at KnockturnAlley, you probably were in contact with the Dementors when you joined You-Know-Who!"

"Ron! I never said anything of the sort; Perce is not involved with Voldemort! Even Voldemort doesn't accept four-year old recruits." Bill bit out angrily. With a deep breath, Bill turned towards his sickly brother. "Percy, I know what you told me before, but you never finished telling me why you needed the job. You have to know that no matter what, we love you and we'll support you. Even if we haven't always been too good about the support in the past."

Percy was just too tired to fight. He'd been fighting his whole life. So when his beloved older brother turned to him, begging him to explain his actions for the past few years, Percy just gave in.

"I just want to start this off by saying I don't blame anyone for what happened. I know that I have to take responsibility for my own actions." Percy's mechanical response slowly droned out as he tried to think how he would capture his feelings in words. "You were all so busy during the first war. Mom was dealing with the twins and Ron; Bill and Charlie in Hogwarts and Dad was busy with the war."

_A skinny, freckled redhead waited, shaking in the closet. They had been at this safe house for a little less than a week. This was the fifth safe house they'd been to in the last two months. Each stay became shorter and shorter as the Deatheaters were able to find their location faster and faster. The entire Weasleyclan had made it out safely every attack, except this time. The lone, scared redhead left behind nervously fidgeted with his glasses, hoping that if he kept silent and did not move, the Deatheaters would leavewithout noticing him. The pitch black cloaked him, both protectiveand suffocating, the only reprieve a sliver of light that snuckin through the crack under the door. Occasionally, shadows obscured the light as footsteps taunted the petrified child. After an hour, the footsteps stopped and the whispers silenced. Young Percy let out a relieved sigh, as his head hit the back of the closet – that was his first mistake. Suddenly the door slammed open with a vengeance and Percy felt his arms scream as he was dragged out of the closet, his small arms already bruising under the pressure. _

_"Well, well, well. What do we have here? A little Weasel." A vicious smile disturbed the grotesque face of Lestrange. The pain increased as Percy frail arm was twisted behind his back at an increasingly unnatural angle. Percy was sure that his arm would snap when suddenly, an angel rescued him._

_"Put the child down. That kind of behavior is unseemly." The words, though laced withsteel, sounded gentle and protective. Percy looked into a face of aristocratic beauty, long blonde hair forming a halo around his savior. Unthinkingly, Percy ran to Lucius once Lestrange released his arm. _

_"Come with me boy." Percy, despite having heard his father's warnings about Lucius Malfoy, couldn't help trusting the man who had saved him from his immediate pain. Percy knew the futility of fighting back against the ten cloaked adult wizards and so clung to his protector's arm. He was apparated out with the men to find himself once again pitched in darkness. And just like that his angel turned. _

_Blinded by a sudden 'lumos', Percy was unable to resist as his wrists were encased in chains attached to the ceiling. Without even batting an eye, the angel's beautiful voice rang out,_

_"crucio"_

_Percy screamed in agony, his tiny frame writhing in pain, only worsened as he fought against the tightening metal that dug into his wrists. Lucius kept the spell on for a few minutes, before taking a five minute break. He kept up these intervals until Percy was left as a shivering, weeping, but still conscious limp form. Another Deatheater entered through one of the dungeon doors and whispered something in Lucius's ear. A malicious smile slowly graced his porcelain face._

_"Well, well, little Weasley. We're going to leave you in some capable hands. Just make sure they don't give you a kiss good night." With that, twelve haunting figures floated in behind the Deatheaters, bringing an instant, clammy cold to the already dank dungeon. After releasing Percy from his chains, the Deatheaters slipped out of the room, leaving him with his new 'family'. _

Percy slipped out of his narrative, sweating slightly as he relived the memories of that horrific time.

"I became like the child of the Dementor family. They never kissed me, but they often held me in their arms, feeding off of my memories and happiness. It was so cold…and dark. It felt like all of my joy and innocence were being drained from my body, replaced by emptiness and this strange freezing that I just couldn't get rid of, no matter how hard I tried. I still feel it sometimes, when I get very upset. Anyway, a few days later there was an Auror raid on the place. There were so many prisoners rescued and Deatheaters captured that they dropped me off where the other families of Order members were staying and just left I guess." Molly was crying at this point, not able to believe that she had missed this in her baby's life.

"But, how did we not know about his? How could we not have known you were gone?" Ron questioned, looking to his parents for answers.

"I think I can answer that one." Arthur started, shame on his face. "We were so concerned after that attack that your mother and I decided we needed to fight on the front lines. Charlie and Bill were left at school, and we decided to leave the younger kids in the care of a protective branch of the Order. Everything was so hectic and urgent, that we left without counting all the kids. Percy was always so quiet. Not that that excuses anything, I know. Oh g-d, Percy, I am so sorry."

"Oh." Percy wasn't sure how to respond to his father's explanation. He had never been sure how to rationalize his parent's apparent neglect in his childhood. Charlie saved his brother from having to respond to his father.

"But, wait, what does that mean for now? Why is Percy sick?" Madame Pompfryjumped in, able to tell the family the long lasting effects of contact with a Dementor from a medical point of view.

"Prolonged, physical contact with Dementors, especially as a child, can havedevastating effects. We don't know that much about it, especially as one ages, as it is so rare. In fact, it's a testament to Percy's strengthand will that he is still withus today; most children withthe same affliction do not survive." It was in her normal, brisk manner that Madame Pompfryexplained the mechanics of the disease. "When most people come in contact with Dementorsthey feel very cold and sad. However, people with traumatic backgrounds often react more adversely, reliving their bad memories. Physical contact from a Dementortakes this to a new level. From what we can tell, the Dementor's attack on happiness fuses into the body, causing the patient to endure physical suffering every time they are emotionally hurt. The extreme of the injury corresponds to the level of hurt the patient feels. Often times, patients are characterized as emotionally distant and unable to adapt to social norms." The color in the twins' faces both drained as the nurse revealed about the physical harm caused by emotional pain. They glanced to each other, neither knowing what to say. However, before they had the chance to vocalize their fear, Bill stepped in, still confused as to how Percy ended up isolated in the dump of a flat.

"Look, Percy. I am really, sincerely, sorry about all you have went through. And it explains your distance and your hurt over the estrangement. But it doesn't tell us why you needed the job to begin with? And why were you in Knockturn Alley?" At this questioning, Percy paled and winced in pain. The nurse ran over to her patient and began muttering diagnostic spells.

"Well, I was able to stem the bleeding from this recent attack. However, Percy is in a dangerous position, some of his other internal damage has not quite healed properly and if he gets too upset…. Well it could be very dangerous."

"Should we stop the questioning then?" Bill asked hesitatingly. He wanted answers badly, but not at the expense of his brother's life. The nurse shook her head slowly.

"I would say that's up to Percy. If it proves to be too much for him he'll stop, but I'll be right on hand to heal him should anything cause a bad reaction."

"Percy, what do you think? You don't have to do this if you don't feel up to it." Bill looked at Percy with concern.

"No, I might as well get it over with now. I just, g-d I don't even know where to start. I was just, so dumb. There was so little research and information on the effects of Dementors on kids, and there was not enough examples of people who reached my age. I was reckless. There was no information on cures or how I would react to society. Or how it would affect my children." Percy left his last sentence hang, choking on his words. His parents stared at him, being the first ones to make the connection.

"Children?" Molly whispered.

"Well, child more exactly. My little girl." A slight smile graced Percy's face as a picture of his auburn haired daughter passed through his mind.

"Daughter! I have a grand baby! Oh my, Arthur, we have a grand baby. Oh Percy can I meet her?" Words gushed out of Molly in her excitement. The twins burst into shocked laughter, slapping their brother on his shoulder. Ron's mouth was gaping. Only Bill saw the tragic implications of Percy's statements. He chose to remain silent for the time being, letting Percy tell the story as he could handle it.

"Perce! We didn't know—

"you had it in you. Who's the—

"baby mamma?"

Percy held his hand up, waiting for the room to get as close to silence as it possibly would with a room full of curious Weasleys.

"In our last year, Penelope told me she was pregnant. We were terrified, of course, but we both knew that we would love this child. And I already had a job lined up with the Ministry. It wouldn't be perfect, but we would be able to manage. I wanted to tell you guys, I really did. But her parents, they were ultra conservative. We were afraid of what they might do if they found out she was pregnant. Penelope was still technically under their guardianship until her 18th birthday. That's why we decided to mask the pregnancy. We were going to tell everyone after the baby was born, when it was too late for her to be taken away from us. "

Arthur couldn't contain himself any longer, interrupting his son's narrative.

"So why didn't you tell us? Obviously, you've had the child. Is Penelope at your home with the baby?" At his Percy, began shaking again, trying to push away the onslaught of bad memories. It took a few tries before Percy was able to start talking again.

"Penelope couldn't handle the birth, another side effect of the Dementors. It took too much out of her. She umm…she died. I killed her." The silence returned to the room, no one knowing how to respond to this latest revelation. Before anyone could attempt to offer him words of comfort, Percy plowed on through his story. "I could barely function. G-d I was never as scared in my life as I was during those first few weeks. I had my work at the Ministry, thankfully they had a daycare, and I just missed Penny so much. I had no idea how I was going to do it without her. She would have been an amazing mother. You should have seen her talking to the baby when she was pregnant. Man, I nearly lost it, if it wasn't for the baby…" Percy trailed off. Harry tentatively raised his eyes, afraid of interrupting what was clearly a family moment.

"Percy. That summer, when you locked yourself away in your room, working. That, that wasn't true was it?" The rest of the family looked up in shock, remembering how they had teased Percy about his reclusive, workaholic ways. Percy just smiled.

"Yea. I just missed Penny too much, it hurt to move." Percy saw the pained expressions on his family's face and decided to just finish his tale, try to get through the hardest part. "Anyway, Lydia – that was her name, our daughter--, she was too little and fragile. The _disease_, it began attacking her body. It hurt her worse than it did me; I don't know if it was that she was so young or that it manifested itself differently, but it just violently attacked her. She would get so sick." The words just spilled out of him, a sudden onslaught of his repressed grief and insecurity.

"Oh Percy." Molly ran over to hug her little boy, but the grown man pushed her away.

"No. No don't, don't comfort me. Don't you get it? You don't, you couldn't understand. To hear her cries, to have to listen to the person you lovemore than anything else in the world scream in agony night after night, knowing that you can't help her. That all you can do is offer slight relief through potions that barely work, that no matter how many kisses you give, it doesn't make it all better. That's why I needed that damn job Dad. Mr. Fudge, he knew. Well, he didn't know about Lydia, but he knew about the disease, assumed I was the one sick I guess. Either way. The ministry had access to the top scientists, and the most recent research and experiments. There is no cure out there yet. There has been no case of a child born from a parent who suffered my affliction. I had nowhere to go. This was Lydia's best shot! I cowed to Fudge's rule, worked to the bone to cover for his inadequacies, and Fudge pulled strings so that I could see the doctors. As is I barely had the money to pay for it, even withFudge's support. I only ate what I needed to survive; everything else went towards doctors and Lydia. I worked endless hours at the Ministry, took a night shift over at the local bar. It still wasn't enough. So yes, I went to Knockturn Alley. They pay good money for blood down there, especially when they can take large quantities. I know it was stupid and dangerous, but my little girl needed me. You should haveseen her, even through the pain, she had this bright smile. Polite too, and smart of course. We would play tea party with some transfigured socks and I would, I would animate the dolls and haveconversations with them, just because I knew it made her laugh." Tears tracked their way down Percy's face, magnifying his freckles.

"It sounds like you're a good Dad. A better Dad than I have been lately. But that's all in the past now, son. We can help you now that we know what's going on. You should have come to us in the beginning, we will take care of this."

"Yes Percy, I can't wait to meet my little granddaughter!" Molly chimed in, agreeing with her husband. But the response that she received was not the relief that she had expected.

"No! You can't ever meet my daughter! Not now."

"Perce, that's just cruel. How can you keep your kid from Mom? What happened to Perfect Percy?" George taunted, the words accidently slipping out in his rage.

"Perfect Percy?" A bitter, deranged laugh, more like a wheeze, drawled from Percy's mouth. The pain in those two words brought the Weasley's to a halt. "Perfect Percy? I bet this makes you thrilled. Doesn't it? Doesn't it! Finally, you get to see what you have wanted to from the day you pulled your first prank on me. Perfect Percy failed! I failed, is that what you want to hear? She's gone, my little girl is gone. I couldn't save her, I couldn't protect her, I let her die. The one thing, the most important thing I ever needed to do and I failed." Suddenly, Percy clasped his shaking hand onto his brother's shoulder, painfully digging in. "Come on, why aren't you laughing? Isn't this what you wanted? Doesn't this just make your day, another thing to mock me for? Laugh…..Damn it laugh!" Percy screamed in desperate rage, a few flecks of blood flying from his mouth. His voice was hoarse with anguish and grief. He sunk to the floor, cradling his head in his hands as he dropped it to the floor. "Oh g-d she's dead. My little girl is dead. I killed her. I killed my baby." His mutterings had dropped to a haunted whisper, as he kept repeating his self-accusation.


	5. Chapter 5

A long pause stretched between the brothers, the agonized grief almost palpable. It was George who first broke the silence, regret filling him for his thoughtless words that provoked his brother's outburst. He kneeled beside his collapsed brother, soothingly rubbing the sobbing shoulders.

"Oh g-d, Percy. Percy I am so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I've done, for everything I didn't do. " George shifted positions so that he was directly in front of Percy and grabbed his chin, forcing his brother to look him in the eye. "Percy, I love you, even though I have never shown it, even though I hurt you so badly. But you have to believe me, I gain no joy from your grief. I would never rejoice in the death of a child, let alone my niece, but more than that, I do not gain satisfaction or amusement from your tears, from your pain." Percy released a breath and leaned his body against his former bully. However, it was through this speech that Fred drew some conclusions about his brother's illness and his former antics. George soon joined his twin in this epiphany.

"Those old scars, are they from—"

"our pranks?" Percy looked into their eyes, seeing the genuine fear and regret for their childish antics.

"Look, I won't deny that your pranks hurt and have caused a few of the scars. But I understand, you were young and high-spirited, and wanted to make the world a joke. And I was your uptight older brother, who struggled to find my way through everyday life, to find the balance of what would and would not hurt, what I could or could not feel. You couldn't have known what I was going through; I can't have expected you to." Twins weren't sure that that quite excused their behavior, but they took what they could from their brother's forgiveness.

Madame Pompfry stood up with authority, realizing the impact that these confessions were having on her patient. Demanding that Percy be allowed to rest as he was far from out of the woods, the nurse shooed the family and the order members out of her makeshift infirmary. The former occupants reassembled in one of the parlor rooms, trying to digest the information they had just bitterly swallowed. The room stayed silent for a full ten minutes, the unfamiliar hum echoed in the previously boisterous headquarters. Molly sat heavily upon one of the moth eaten armchairs, shaking in her grief. Her distraught husband carefully approached her, desperate to comfort his wife. The redheaded man reached a loving arm across her shaking shoulders and Molly swung around, a slap echoing in the silent room. Her husband wrapped his arms around her, desperate to calm her hysterics. Molly laid her forehead against his chest and whispered in a deceptively quiet voice, tinged with mounting tears,

"You and your damn, stubborn pride. You couldn't let him talk, I begged you not to kick him out, I begged you to go after him, to bridge the gap that had formed these years. But you didn't. And now I will never meet my first grandbaby and my little boy, my quiet, caring, respectful little boy, will be permanently scarred. His smile will never fully reach his eyes and no matter how much time and distance comes between today and his next, he will always be haunted by loss and pain." With those damning words she leaned her weary body against her husband's, too worn out to add to the tears that had already traced their path down her plump face.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." Arthur whispered these words, a broken record stuck in his agonized self-condemnation. Molly looked upon her husband with bloodshot eyes,

"No I'm sorry. It's just as much my fault as yours. I'm his mother! I didn't know anything was wrong, I could have hunted him down after he left, forced him to come back home, to explain himself. Let him know that mummy never stopped loving him." Bill looked upon his parents with mixed emotions. Anger at their negligence, sympathy for their pain, and fear. Fear for his brother, fear for his family, just constant fear. So when he heard his parents focusing on themselves and their guilt and their pain, the tumultuous influx of emotions let him voice the worry that had been nagging at the back of his head without softening his concern.

"There is plenty of blame to go around, but we can't focus on that right now! Did you not here what Madame Pompfry said? Emotional pain causes physical pain for Percy. He managed to survive this long for reasons we don't really understand, but how much more can he stand? I've never seen someone hurting so deeply, I can't even imagine…."

Ron finally spoke up, being one of the few Weasleys, besides Ginny and Charlie, to not voice any opinions in a while. But when he finally spoke, his voice was so soft and broken, that Harry felt his heart break for his often rash, macho, but endlessly loyal best friend.

"Is Percy going to die?"

Molly glanced at her youngest son, realizing the scary impact this was having on her young children. She wanted to comfort them, yet found she couldn't lie to them, knowing that because of the war, they were far too mature to be fooled by pretty lies.

"Baby, we are going to do everything we can to make sure that Percy lives. What you – what we all – have to understand is that this pain runs deep. There is no quick cure; no wizard has yet managed to find a spell or potion to mend a broken heart. But one wizard did give us one thing – Percy gave us hope. He is so strong, that he managed to last this long is a testament to his will, his drive, and the essence of his soul. If he could make it this far by himself, just image what he can do with the love and support of one of the largest families in the Wizarding world behind him."

And one of Percy's jagged, red scars faded into a tiny white line.


End file.
